Back home when I was a lot younger, I was usually described as cocky. I don't know. I get excited over something I achieved sometimes. But who doesn't? What made me feel like they're all ganging up on me is when I see other people do the same thing and the public isn't bothered. So how come when I go sometimes half of their enthusiasm, people get really annoyed. To the point they just want to bring me down however and whenever they can.
I had a talk with a friend (Mars) whom I asked, "What do people really think of me despite everything I do to please them?" Here's how he explained it:
You got many good qualities in you and one of those things, Jackson, is being smart. You're smart and you still read. And the best thing about that is that you share. But the problem is how you share. You share so much it's overwhelming, people think you're not helping anymore. More like just showing off.
Thanks to another friend of mine (Gilford), I became a video game enthusiast some time ago. There was this kid a bit clueless with the main game Gilford and I were playing. That kid and I became friends and in turn,
I taught him the game. Even more than that. I taught him all the strategy I could come up with and in time, he can beat me in just a couple of seconds. To be honest, I'm happy for him. He got bored of me and wanted a tougher challenge. So he moved on. It was Gilford who scolded at me saying, "That's the problem with you. You just don't hold back when you're teaching. Why not keep some for yourself?" I didn't argue with him. But I just thought to myself, "Isn't that what teachers are supposed to do? Teach your pupil everything you know?"
But that was the past. I've grown and realized what they mean. At the present, I have been in living (almost) a solitary life. No people to talk to. Online, they're just a bunch of strangers. Get in touch with my childhood friends through Facebook? Yeah, not so much. We've grown. We've changed. I got accustomed to this lifestyle and to tell you the truth, I like it. Lesser people, lesser headaches is what I say.
But here came photography as my new hobby. I was forced to talk to people online for inquiries. I ended up joining Flickr groups and photography forums, talk to random people, just try to do whatever I can to learn more about this complicated thing. I did learn a lot and I'm happy with it. Happy enough to start really talking. I mean opening up. I feel like I can relate to these people. They all seem very nice. And oh, I got invited to this new photography group for beginners. It's so cool. Finally I can speak up more and be more open 'cause we're all really just a bunch of beginners. At least for now, I think so. Suggestions are open. Post a thread or question. Participate on new group activities. All is good. And since they said that, I started talking about what I really wanted from a group. Especially what I've learned from the short months of taking pictures... a bit much I think... again.
I don't know. Perhaps it's just my personality to talk much. I'm honestly not trying to be a know-it-all and I definitely am not. I was just hoping I'd be able to help someone and perhaps get the same thing in return.