Friday, December 27, 2013

The Journey Continues

     A couple of days before my birthday this year, I was sent back to the Philippines.  I had about 2 weeks to think about my situation and possible future as I prepare myself to going back home.  Reality is, I'll have a hard time coming back to Korea.     Since I started photography in Korea, I always told myself that I wouldn't advertise myself much in my hometown.  Photography is my passion.  And since I had a day job, I never really considered going pro with photography, despite my friends and family expecting and presuming that I use photography as my source of income, when I get back.  I kept laughing inside whenever that conversation comes up.  I got many reasons... but I'll talk about that some other time.  The thing is, I decided my photography journey will either die or will be put on hold indefinitely.

     In my mind, it's not unreasonable.  My country, the Philippines, a third-world country for as long as I remember, doesn't give much time nor luxury for such expensive and consuming hobby.  It's not just about taking pictures.  Having the time, saving energy and minimizing electricity usage (computer), insufficient supply of internet, printing expenses, and top that with unemployment.  Sure, there are answers in every problem out there, but what isn't mentioned is time to find such answers.  So, again, I decided to stop blogging and even stop photography.

     Well, I finally came back home and most of my fears were true or worse than I expected.  Personal problems didn't help either as I stayed away from people for my first few weeks at home.  But time went by and I started opening up to friends.

     Then an old friend invited me to her wedding.  At that time, I firmly decided to attend the event as a friend.  Just an ordinary someone who come to eat and run (just like most people here do... I think).  I only had my phone with me.  During the event, I had many chances and good points to photograph the bride/groom/friends/people.  Using my phone, I had a hard time taking pictures under low light, with no manual control over the phone's camera.  It was frustrating.  But guess what?  This frustration lead to something good.  I got inspired.  I regretted not bringing my camera with me.  I regretted thinking I could go along being a non-photographer.  I was actually ashamed that I attended a friend's important day, and I got nothing to show people about it.

     Despite quite a lot of issues I'm having in a new living condition, my friend's wedding and many more that came to pass, got me reconsider my journey.  My photography journey.  And it's good.  In the beginning, considering photography alone, sends me deeper into depression.  But I realized it's actually my source of relief from depression.  It's one of the things that keeps me happy.  So what was I thinking quitting this journey?  I don't know.

     So here I am.  Back to writing.  Back to taking pictures.  Back to blogging.  And actually have been taking many pictures and have many stories to tell, I'm so behind on my blog.  I guess it's not anymore.  But thank you, Korea, for giving me the opportunity to to do photography there.  Now it's time to document my journey here in the Philippines.

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